Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
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What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
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I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars