Texts From Last Night

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  (433): View more from

  There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables

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  (433): There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables http://tfl.nu/c33j
  Replies (63) Good night (1376) Bad night (3992)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.

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  (847): His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it. http://tfl.nu/zrgw
  Replies (36) Good night (1133) Bad night (6336)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.

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  (828): Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy. http://tfl.nu/roru
  Replies (15) Good night (5884) Bad night (1390)
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  (510): View more from California

  answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.

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  (510): answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it. http://tfl.nu/6rsg
  Replies (6) Good night (1390) Bad night (5347)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.

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  (617): creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack. http://tfl.nu/jtst
  Replies (3) Good night (1038) Bad night (4222)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets

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  (717): no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets http://tfl.nu/m579
  Replies (5) Good night (3577) Bad night (662)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.

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  (717): If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving. http://tfl.nu/mp36
  Replies (7) Good night (870) Bad night (2442)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.

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  (206): You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick. http://tfl.nu/hzir
  Replies (12) Good night (2430) Bad night (824)
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  (941): View more from Florida

  Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?

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  (941): Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night? http://tfl.nu/uq24
  Replies (18) Good night (5269) Bad night (763)
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  (518): View more from New York

  he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  do you still have it? i kinda want to see.

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  (518): he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner. (732): do you still have it? i kinda want to see. http://tfl.nu/j8xe
  Replies (4) Good night (1923) Bad night (576)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.

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  (781): You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe. http://tfl.nu/3tsh
  Replies (3) Good night (413) Bad night (865)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.

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  (301): If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful. http://tfl.nu/gi9x
  Replies (14) Good night (851) Bad night (292)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational

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  (520): So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational http://tfl.nu/op3j
  Replies (1) Good night (599) Bad night (335)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.

  (1-913): View more from Kansas

  You're my favorite person

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  (913): I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that. (1-913): You're my favorite person http://tfl.nu/9772
  Replies (7) Good night (1064) Bad night (369)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.

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  (937): I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it. http://tfl.nu/13iq
  Replies (0) Good night (178) Bad night (244)

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