Texts From Last Night

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  (340): View more from US Virgin Islands

  well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt

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  (340): well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt http://tfl.nu/yxfk
  Replies (21) Good night (3402) Bad night (833)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.

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  (570): He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom. http://tfl.nu/2ayy
  Replies (5) Good night (826) Bad night (3427)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me

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  (702): facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me http://tfl.nu/rfhz
  Replies (11) Good night (3373) Bad night (1438)
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  (571): View more from Virginia

  I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.

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  (571): I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet. http://tfl.nu/230n
  Replies (5) Good night (2951) Bad night (1103)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.

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  (813): He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand. http://tfl.nu/9yan
  Replies (10) Good night (993) Bad night (3316)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.

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  (828): Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times. http://tfl.nu/we9q
  Replies (12) Good night (2887) Bad night (650)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.

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  (651): I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen. http://tfl.nu/ant7
  Replies (9) Good night (2469) Bad night (566)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water

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  (405): You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water http://tfl.nu/d1ur
  Replies (5) Good night (1570) Bad night (630)
• Favorite

  (863): View more from Florida

  We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.

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  (863): We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth. http://tfl.nu/zjcp
  Replies (1) Good night (701) Bad night (398)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it

  (773): View more from Illinois

  It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact

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  (773): I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it (773): It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact http://tfl.nu/3h4p
  Replies (2) Good night (471) Bad night (880)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.

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  (803): We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep. http://tfl.nu/8q5m
  Replies (2) Good night (304) Bad night (834)
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  (936): View more from Texas

  My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.

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  (936): My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away. http://tfl.nu/923e
  Replies (5) Good night (358) Bad night (982)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.

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  (+44): We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever. http://tfl.nu/yqo8
  Replies (3) Good night (877) Bad night (307)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening

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  (501): When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening http://tfl.nu/gsvb
  Replies (1) Good night (290) Bad night (422)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????

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  (206): Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people???? http://tfl.nu/o1p9
  Replies (1) Good night (162) Bad night (253)

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