Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Randomize
