Texts From Last Night

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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha

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  (479): he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha http://tfl.nu/2icp
  Replies (19) Good night (1159) Bad night (2273)
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  (212): View more from New York

  You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.

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  (212): You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin. http://tfl.nu/5eus
  Replies (15) Good night (949) Bad night (4765)
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  (619): View more from California

  I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth

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  (619): I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth http://tfl.nu/3dui
  Replies (15) Good night (2870) Bad night (2454)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.

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  (908): and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line. http://tfl.nu/n1fc
  Replies (10) Good night (4606) Bad night (1524)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.

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  (519): I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle. http://tfl.nu/aifz
  Replies (11) Good night (3885) Bad night (2141)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls

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  (720): I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls http://tfl.nu/uqfq
  Replies (11) Good night (3911) Bad night (1218)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.

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  (484): The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread. http://tfl.nu/tsab
  Replies (1) Good night (2705) Bad night (774)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer

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  (306): All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer http://tfl.nu/jur4
  Replies (1) Good night (696) Bad night (580)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot

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  (215): I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot http://tfl.nu/otr7
  Replies (4) Good night (851) Bad night (404)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.

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  (860): TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell. http://tfl.nu/0dz9
  Replies (2) Good night (760) Bad night (385)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs

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  (908): If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs http://tfl.nu/w28c
  Replies (1) Good night (686) Bad night (416)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  Sadly, she's the porn star that got away

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  (954): Sadly, she's the porn star that got away http://tfl.nu/sl2s
  Replies (3) Good night (415) Bad night (606)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again

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  (512): Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again http://tfl.nu/zxqw
  Replies (2) Good night (318) Bad night (506)
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  (224): View more from Illinois

  After this week, alcohol is mandatory.

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  (224): After this week, alcohol is mandatory. http://tfl.nu/g89u
  Replies (0) Good night (338) Bad night (158)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.

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  (231): Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight. http://tfl.nu/p1n4
  Replies (5) Good night (356) Bad night (243)

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