You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
