he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
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Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us