he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
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