drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
