You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
