Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
