covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
My vagina just recognized that song.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
