Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
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