Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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