he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
