There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
