Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have so much sex to catch up on
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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