I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Its about making memories worth repressing
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
