I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
