I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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