Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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