69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
