He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
