I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
