She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize