I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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