i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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