they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
