he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
These tits shall not be calmed
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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