girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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