So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
