Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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