Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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