My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
