I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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