Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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