I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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