Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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