What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
