thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
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