I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
