I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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