maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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