I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I think i got beer on your cat.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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