covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
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