Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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