the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I need to stop coming to work sober
He kissed a someone with a penis
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
i out mim tonsoeep
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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