Can i not drive my cunt home
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize