I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Randomize
