You don't have asthma, your pregnant
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize