your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Randomize
