at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Pants 0. Shit 1.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
