I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
