I'm really into asian looking animals
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Randomize
