I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize
