my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
