how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
