It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
