Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
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