covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize