So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I need moral support for this bender
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
