i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Randomize
