Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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