great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
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