Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
When did angry sex become our thing?
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
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