I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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