My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
