i already hear my dad disowning me
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
